You folks know I’m a private person. I don’t usually write about what’s going on in my life. That’s not the purpose of this blog. But I just got some very bad news, and I feel I need the support of my friends…and you, the supporters of Writer Beware, have always been people I’ve regarded as friends.
Until this morning, everything was going so well…I was energized and excited by my two new projects. But now…everything has fallen apart. I’m afraid my writing career may be over. You see, I had signed last year to do a very important project for Disney. I was so proud to be chosen from among many writers in my genre to be the first writer contracted to do a full-length Pirates of the Caribbean novel. I LOVED those movies, and it seemed like a dream come true that I’d get to be the first writer to write a full-length novel in that universe. Even when I found out I wouldn’t get to meet Johnny Depp, I just nodded and kept smiling. (Can’t blame a girl for trying, can you?) My Disney editor was wonderful, and the project, though challenging, held out hopes for being a bestseller.
And as soon after I signed the contract for the Pirates of the Caribbean novel, another completely unexpected offer dropped into my lap, to occupy my time in 2009. It seems that the publicity surrounding Atlanta Nights, as well as all the steamy sex scenes in jail cells and at funerals had caused Touchstone to option the book for a major motion picture to appear next year And I was the writer they signed to do the novelization!
But now all my hopes are dashed, lying in ruins. My agent just called to give me the BAD NEWS. It seems that Disney has been acquired by a new, up-and- coming publishing company, one that wouldn’t hire me on a bet. One that has good reason to detest both me and Writer Beware. Matter of fact, I’m their Public Enemy No. 1.
It’s only a matter of time before they see my name on those contracts and pull the plug. PublishAmerica would never allow me to write for them in a zillion years. Woe is me…
-Ann C. Crispin
Anon 9:53’s post reminds me of a guest who used to pop in regularly to an online workshop I hosted years ago. This man apparently was dealing with some serious health issues–with which we could all sympathize–but claimed to want to write despite all of it, which we actually admired. Problem was, he’d then come into the workshop and slam all of us for any fun we had, any jokes we made, any silliness in which we indulged. To him, if we had fun in the session, it betrayed us as “unprofessional.” How dared we laugh about anything, especially our Serious Writing Careers, when the world was such an awful place!
Mind you, we did talk craft, more constructively than 90% of what claimed to be “writers’ workshops” online were doing. We just had a good time doing it–but in this man’s mind, that made us “shallow” and “frivolous.”
Some of us just take longer than others to “get it,” I guess.
Now maybe my script Cinderella Gets The Clap In Cleveland can finally be produced if I pay for it.
“Publish America suffers?” asks Miracle Max.
“Humiliations galore,” replies Inigo Montoya.
“Sign me up!” say I.
I think Anonymous either didn’t check the date, or didn’t read to the end of the post–or maybe both.
Irony-challenged of the world, unite!
I don’t usually comment here, but that last comment deserved a heartfelt “Oh, my GOD!”
Some people just have no sense of humor. I swear.
You want some “really bad news?” How about that your child has cancer, or that your spouse has just died in a car accident, or that your best friend has committed suicide because she could not handle the after -affects of being sexually abused as a child?
This post was one of the most self-centered things that I have ever read. Many people struggle every day just to get through life and you are whining about your writing career, which sounds pretty good to writers like me who cannot even get an agent to answer their query letters.
Be thankful for good health, your loved ones, loyal friends, a roof over your head, clothing on your back, and food on your plate.
“Woe is me?” Yes, woe to those who complain about things like you have because you will probably have to learn the hard way what true suffering and hardship is.
That was just MEAN.
Gosh this is TERRIBLE! But if I know PA they will take you straight into their hearts ’cause-hey-money!
And yanno–I was dishing the dirt with an actor pal of mine (he played the third pirate from the left in the second movie) and HE told me Depp wanted to play the lead in Atlanta Nights!! Apparently the quirkiness of the book appealed to him!
Of course this is on condition that he gets to sing, dance, and feed vegetarians to his meat-eating mutant hamster (who also needs a part in the film). He’s sure you can write in a scene like that!
In exchange you have to work for free, but Depp said he’d give you a nice foot rub.
Hugs and mayhem– Pat
Well done! Happy April fools 😀
oh well done! 🙂 –
though the phrase “…And as soon after I signed the contract for …” -was a bit of a give-away..
So is Disney going to start making movies that are “Non Traditionally Produced?”
I was =so= looking forward to the movie. Especially if they used Chapter 35.
you had me till the end. Happy April Fools!
Happy April 1 to you, too.
You had me going until the movie deal for Atlanta Nights. Now my co-workers think I’ve finally snapped — chortling uncontrollably at my desk like that…
OMG! You had me going there right up until the end. Happy April Fools’!
Almost as good as the one where you said you were quitting last year…
Thank you for this wonderful, wonderful laugh! I was with you until “Publish America”, then my frown turned… upside down. I hate saying that, but it was so wonderful I’ll say it again: Frown upside down!
Welcome to April to you too. 🙂
I don’t think PA suffers. Sales to anyone other than PA authors and their friends/family probably represent such a small portion of PA’s profits that it can afford to blow Amazon off. Plus, now its authors will have to buy even more of their own books so they can participate in Amazon Advantage. “Nuts” indeed.
I love april fools.
And you know…the amazon thing has a silver lining;
Publish America suffers..
I still feel sorry for their authors though.
Chin up, Ann. I hear Amazon is looking to buy PublishAmerica. Then for $50, Touchstone will be able to produce your novelization through BookSurge. See? It all works out. Your novel will get the chance it deserves. It will resonate like (dare I say it?) a glove!
Yes, I was tending to the catnip this morning. Why do you ask?
Oh how terrible! Disney bought out by PA! Woe woe woe 🙂
That has to be an April Fool’s Joke… Ermm… Bought Disney? PA? *snicker* *chortle*
You’re evil Ann. *wink*
**HUG** That truly and deeply sucks. But, it isn’t really the end of your entire career, is it? You have writing in you beyond Disney, no?